How to face your fears - and remove them!
Updated: Feb 21
Face your fears: why would anyone do that?!
Well, we all have fears, and they can hold us back from our full potential. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of not being good enough, and limiting beliefs are just a few of the most common ones.
Often when we’re working toward a goal, we can have hidden fears holding us back. These fears can lurk around in our subconscious, slowing our progress and even completely sabotaging us if we let them.
When these fears lurk in the shadows, unexamined and avoided, they become powerful. But when we bring them out into the light and name them, confront them and think critically about them, they often lose their power.
So let’s think about your worst fear for a moment. What are you truly scared of? What's the WORST that can happen? Don't be afraid to go down the "what's the worst that can happen" road for a minute, and see what you find. Is your worst fear really that bad?
For example, let's say you want to start a life coaching business, but you're struggling with the fear of failure. What if you start your business, but no one signs up for coaching? What if you try and try, but you can't find any clients?!
Let's dive into that fear. What IF you launch a coaching program and no one signs up? Well, maybe you'd pivot. Maybe you'd try a new way of meeting your dream clients. Maybe you'd sign up for some business coaching. Maybe you'd get scrappy and ask your friends if they know anyone who needs a coach, or even post some flyers around town. Let's dive deeper now... what if none of that worked? What if no matter what you tried, you just couldn't find anyone to sign up for your coaching program? Well, maybe you would eventually quit. So, what happens then? Maybe you'd go back to your previous job, minus a bit of your savings. What IF you spent those savings, and nothing came of it?
Well, you'd probably make back that money eventually. And you'd also know that you tried to be a coach, so you wouldn't be left wondering "what if I had started a coaching business?" for the rest of your life.
Maybe you'd be able to revisit it one day. Maybe in the future you'd meet a successful coach, and they'd be able to share how they built their business, and help you out. Maybe you'd already have a huge headstart, because you'd already have a coaching certification and a website.
Maybe it would all turn out okay! Or maybe it wouldn't. But in the grand scheme of things, everything would probably turn out okay. Even if you spent your entire life savings on becoming a coach, you might have to eat ramen for awhile or pick up some extra shifts at your job, but in the long haul you'd probably be alright.
After you've spent some time mentally exploring the What ifs, get up close and personal with your fear. Spend some time with it. Get as close as you can to the feeling of fear inside you. Inside of automatically pushing it down, embrace the fear for a minute. Feel how it feels in your body.
Often our unpleasant feelings, including our fears, last for about 90 seconds if we fully honor them and feel them. But if we try to push them down, step away from our fears, or numb them, they can linger around and last a lot longer.
Now focus on your breathing. How do you feel? Do you feel better now that you've confronted your fear, instead of letting it lurk around in the shadows and secretly control you? Congratulations, you’re on your way to conquering your fear! PS: Diving deep into your fears is something I've done to help clients overcome their fears. If you're ready to dive deep, feel free to book a call to learn more about how I help people overcome their fears!